Stranger Things: The First Shadow is thrilling to watch, but I felt so out of the loop.

I understood the main arc, though I was slow to grasp some of the bigger revelations. If you walk into this cold, as I did, a lot of information can go straight over your head. It works as a standalone play, but familiarity with the franchise clearly adds another layer, and you occasionally find yourself wondering what on earth people are whispering about.

Significant stretches of dialogue could have been cut without consequence, particularly a police station scene that seems to exist purely to tell the audience what’s going to happen next, before descending into a ridiculous slapstick fight. The tension rarely builds, the comic relief doesn’t hit, and the jump scares rarely land.

The Netflix series carries a 15 rating in the UK, setting certain expectations for the audience coming to see its theatrical counterpart. Perhaps it’s the live nature of the piece, but there’s a strange restraint to the horror. Its scale and aesthetic promise that it’s about to go absolutely fucking mental. It never quite does.

Even the effects show cracks when the ambition outstrips the ability to pull them off seamlessly. Speaking to the Los Angeles Times, illusion designer Jamie Harrison confirmed that elements had been redesigned for Broadway so that “the impact is significantly stronger than in London.” It seems odd that the longer-running London production hasn’t benefited from the same improvements.

Perhaps there’s a practical explanation. Speaking to London Theatre, set designer Miriam Buether acknowledged that the Phoenix Theatre was “actually a bit too small for all the scenery and everything,” describing backstage as “like a giant Tetris.”

The projected film sequences felt unnecessary. They added little to the storytelling, although perhaps they were concealing scene changes so seamlessly that I failed to notice. If so, that’s a testament to the production’s technical precision.

Because slick it certainly is.

I’ve never seen such immaculate technical choreography. It must be a nightmare to keep this show on its feet. Every set piece, effect and audio cue has the potential to derail it at any moment. Like the show or not, you have to appreciate the precision and craft involved.

The performances often felt like television acting transplanted onto a stage, with characters behaving as though the cameras were still rolling. Dialogue was frequently mumbled, in a way that might work with a boom microphone but becomes frustrating in an auditorium. The play seems so determined to recreate the television series that it occasionally forgets it’s theatre.

I’ve never felt so lost, captivated and frustrated by something. I’m annoyed that the spectacle got me, but I can’t help admiring the extraordinary craft behind it.

I don’t think it’s enough to applaud something because it looks amazing.

I left having to research and connect dots long after the final curtain. I understood the story, but felt I needed to watch the series to make sense of what I’d missed and appreciate why so much of it mattered. Watching Stranger Things now feels like an obligation rather than something I actually want to do.